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As with the last one, no hospitilization for this five-day session of chemo...and no PICC line, either.
03Apr: It's just after 0400, and I'm just getting my first cup of coffee. My mind isn't prepared to type much more than "ugggghhhh...it starts again today."
I'm currently sitting in the chemo room...and I thought I'd put in a few comments while I'm thinking about them.... First, it seems we have a competition of sorts between me and one other guy as to who has the worst veins...he's winning...so far.... Other news...let's see, all those grapes I bought now have to go in the freezer to eat some other time...and before I can eat an apple, someone else has to peel it for me. Why all of that? My white cell counts are low, with neutropenia, and this week's chemo will drive them even lower. Got the standard warnings from Dr. Hsiang (Harvey) this morning, along with instructions to report here Saturday, Sunday, and Monday for white blood cell injections (and then Tuesday, for more chemo). Finally, they did the blood labs (αFP and βHCG) here, so I don't have to go to Outpatient for those. Should (hopefully) have the results Wednesday, and he expects them to be normal...I hope (and believe) that he's right....
[late addition here...but after typing this next paragraph elsewhere, I liked it enough that it HAD to go here....]
It's like I told him: this cancer kicked me in the nuts, and since day one, I've been saying that I was going to return the favor and kick it in the nuts.. I believe that Wednesday's numbers will help to show that the now-dead or dying cancer cells have officially (well, sort of...the cat-scan after the chemo is over will have the real official word) been kicked where it hurts.....
[ok, back to your regularly scheduled web page]
And during the Cisplatin IV, it took both a bag of saline (or something like that) in parallel to dilute the Cisplatin to stop the burning in my vein (good blood return...this was just the "battery acid" being pumped through the vein) AND IV Ativan for nausea. And this is just day one....
04Apr: More chemo today...all three VP-16, aka Etopside, Bleomycin, and Cisplatin. As Bill the Cat (from Bloom County) would say, "Ack! THPPPPPPT!"
05Apr: Time for day three...but today, if the USPS cooperates, I should have my blanket/comforter that my mom made back.... She took it back to San Antonio to repair some damage done by age, cat claws (the unintentional veriety), and normal wear and tear...and the postman tried to deliver it yesterday, but since we weren't home..... 0830 my but is going to be at the Defuniak post office. 0930 (more or less, given the long drive remaining) it'll be in the waiting room, waiting for chemo...hopefully with that comforter. (I'm like Linus with his security blanket when it comes to that comformter....) If I remember, I'll post a photo when I have it back.
Coffee's ready...time to quit typing now.
06Apr: There's a lot I could type about yesterday, about trouble with finding (or in this case, keeping) veins, nausea (really bad), but I've typed it all before, and you've no doubt read it already. I've got something much more important to type now: results....
These numbers are unofficial—officially, I haven't seen them yet (I "didn't" see them right after they came off of the computer, before the doctor even saw them...I "didn't" write the numbers down on my hand...etc.). So, the numbers I haven't seen yet are:
Anyways, more chemo today....
07Apr: More on those results...except this time, it's official.
| Date | αFP (Normal Range: <6.1) |
βHCG (Normal Range: <5) |
| Initial | 407.0 | 7451 |
| 09Feb06 | 608.0 | 3033 |
| 01Mar06 | 19.3 | 35 |
| 03Apr06 | 5.6 NORMAL |
2 NORMAL |
UPDATED:
Now, what does that mean? It means that, based on the tumor markers, the cancer is in remission (whether partial or complete remains to be seen...per Dr. Chang's comments just now, more tests—chest X-rays and another CT scan—will follow about a month after this complete chemo cycle is over to determine whether or not there are still any tumors remaining, and if there are, they will have to be surgically removed).
It also doesn't mean that it won't come back again later (I'll never have that guarantee), but, as Dr. Hsiang put it yesterday, it does mean that we've accomplished what we set out to do with the chemo (those were more or less his words). Put another way, we've kicked the cancer (as Cartman on South Park would say) "right square in the nuts."
And yet, the chemo continues...the final all-day chemo session is today. Then three days of going in for shots to boost my WBC count, and then another chemo session on Tuesday....
Yesterday's WBC boosting shot (some chemical that gets into the bone marrow and is supposed to convince the bone marrow to make lots of white blood cells) really wiped me out...as in, all day. From what I've gathered, there are two choices for WBC boosters...I want the other one....
I've heard, in the chemo room, lots of people who had apparently had trouble with a blood count related shot the day before, who end up having to get another type of shot instead.... From what I've gathered, I just had the former yesterday. I had to stay for 25 minutes to watch for a bad reaction...the same bad reaction, I'm guessing, which started about five minutes after we left.... I almost lost the contents of my stomach a couple of times, plus really bad nausea (all day), and I'm still feeling sore all over (some of which is probably from veins that chemo has abused too much).
[a few hours and about $20 in gas later]
Well, it turns out that the reaction I had, pain around the sternum and weakness (in my case, to the point of being knocked flat out) was exactly the reaction they did NOT want to see. So, no shot today, period (still cost me $20 in gas to get there and find out, though, and it'll be the another $20 tomorrow). Tomorrow, I'll get a CBC (complete blood count—the usual test they do before chemo) and they'll determine whether or not I'll need another shot (and which type of shot to give me).
Today's instructions: relax, take it easy, and basically, just rest. So I'll do more video processing...or perhaps just forget about that and run a Harpoon (naval combat) simulation or two. I've lost the IOPG (Indian Ocean/Persian Gulf) battleset disks, so all I have is the old GIUK (Greenland, Iceland, United Kingdom—the GIUK gap is a gauntlet that the former Soviet Union's submarines, both attack and missle boats, would have had to get through in order to get into the Atlantic had war broken out) battleset, but there are some really good ASW (anti-submarine warfare) simulations in there, so..... My favorite, "Gatekeeper", uses a wide variety of ASW platforms, including our own attack boats, surface/air ASW platforms, including frigates, destroyers, and their helos, along with helos launched from aircraft carriers, and, of course, P-3C Orions launched from Keflavik....
Well, another round of maybe getting a shot today.....
[a few hours and about $20 in gas later]
Nope, just a Procrit shot to boost my RBC count...but I could have had that tomorrow, before chemo. At least there is one good bit of news that makes the trip at least partially worth the gas: according to the CBC, I'm no longer neutropenic, and can, therefore, go back to eating fresh fruit and vegetables (I felt the intense need to have an apple when I got home...too bad the grapes I'd bought before had already gone bad, but I'll get more).
Well, we're taking my truck again today, so it's yet another $20 in gas.... Don't know where this $20 in gas is going to come from.... Chemo today (Bleo only).
Ahhhh, my poor veins get a whole week off...and they need it. No chemo until next Tuesday. No trips to the cancer center, either (not that we'd be able to—all of our vehicles are sitting here without even enough gas to get to the nearest gas station...my truck was on empty about 15 minutes before we got home yesterday...and it's below 'E' now...nobody else is doing any better). Nope, today was spent doing some quick studying on routing protocols for a technical job interview (I've already pointed out that I've never worked with IP routing before, but they're still interested...so I want to at least show some effort). But...IP routing is one of those topics that would frustrate anyone from any branch of the military who is NOT from comm.... Why? Too many TLAs and FLAs for even the military. And I'm trying to cram it all into my head in about a day or two.... I finally had to quit for the day—my brain hurts....
Fortunately the display on this laptop is the non-headache variety...otherwise, it'd REALLY be bad.... If anyone has a quick way to upload the information to my brain, please let me know (sorry, no SCSI on the laptop...perhaps I could get a firewire interface?).... :-}
Another day's worth of quick studying for that interview the timing for which, fortunately, the recruiter left up to me, my schedule, and how I'm feeling (right now I'm feeling like learning everything I can about the subject!). But...that's not what this entry is about...it's about how incredibly, ummm, bright (can you hear the sarcasm dripping from every word here?) some people can be....
Someone (I won't mention the fact that I'm talking about my dad) just told me that I must be the laziest (his favorite word, btw, for anyone—but usually only behind their backs) person in the world. You see, rather than being outside working on the farm (something I know nothing about), I'm in here studying for a job interview for a position that could:
Put another way, it's an opportunity to kick life's troubles in the ass yet again and come back stronger than before...just as I've always tried to do when life tries to kick me in the backside. He knows ALL of this...but is only capable of seeing things through the blinders that fit what he wants to see.
This is far from being the only example, or even, from being the only recent example.... Here's another one: as my weight stayed steady at the same number it was at before all this cancer crap, he kept ranting about how much weight I was gaining and how fat I was getting, despite the fact that, just before the cancer was diagnosed, I'd lost a LARGE amount of weight...and also despite the fact that, when I did finally go up a pound or two, the nurse who weighed me was GLAD, stating that, during the chemo, I needed all of the nutrients I could get, and going up a pound or two is a good thing...yeah, he knew all of that, too.
This is the same person who once told me that, because he's my father (and thus, my superior), he knows more about everything (regardless of topic) than I ever will, and that there is no idea that I can EVER come up with that he hasn't already thought of (again, regardless of topic). Brilliant, huh?
Fortunately, I've dealt with this for enough years that I know what to do: ignore him and/or laugh at him. In this case, I did the former as he babbled, and am doing the latter now...publically.
With that, back to studying....
Just got the news.... Both SSI and SSD: denied. This may mean that my Medicaid goes away, too (if so, all treatment comes to a screeching halt until I have a real job...see above...and medical insurance).